A letter from me to you

"I DON'T WANT TO DIE!"

I have had, a million times, struggles with trying to keep myself alive without breathing a lot. When my mother got angry, I made myself as small as I could.

Do not move. Do not breathe. Please, little girl, do not speak. Try to not even cry, my little soul. Just try to disappear and try to survive this period of being terrified.

I didn't have the knowledge to know that this experience would pass away. No, for me, it was fighting against staying alive or dying. That was what I felt and believed. My body went through all those different emotions to protect me. Thank you body for helping me and staying alive. Every cell of my little Amber's body heard those ugly and angry words. It heard and felt every bit of anger and anxiety. I am so sorry that you experienced that. You are okay right now, my baby girl. I love you and I have your back. You are safe with me. I am your mom that will protect you, always. I am here on this new path with you full of love, good health, breathing right, protecting you against evil, and I hold your hand forever. We are here, and we are allowed to be ourselves in this universe without attracting evil for being you.

I am so sorry that other beings couldn't understand your pure heart. It is okay that after every bit of pain, you lost yourself. It is okay that you gave away pieces of yourself to others to try to heal/help them. Furthermore, it is okay that there are many times when you lost your inner core. You sometimes became an angry being. Thank you for releasing that version of yourself. Thank you for letting go of that anger. Thank you for being positive and transforming a lot. I love you, every different version of you. Look at how far you already got and wow little girl, the women in you feel your power. You have battled so many fights on your own and I love you for it. Just remember, from now on, I am here. I am not letting you down ever again. I am here with you. Side by side.

You have been mistreated in so many ways. There has been so much abuse in your life. You are still so young, my little girl. There is a lifetime of love and peace in front of you. It took me 25 years to feel and to understand your power for than to stand up with you and say NO to any abuse. I got there with you. I am sorry it took me so long. Furthermore, I am so sorry that I let you experience so many lies, anger, pain, hatred, jealousy, beatings, gaslighting, less oxygen, negativity, and self-hate. Also, I am sorry you believed all of that’s ever been said to you. I am sorry that you have been raped. That too many ugly negative souls have touched your body, mind, soul, and energy. You have a golden heart, which is difficult for lost souls to understand. Thank you for always loving souls you meet with every inch of your body, mind, soul, and energy. A lot of them didn't deserve it, but you were there for them with the same power I am here for you now. We got this. I am sorry that so many souls didn't believe you, while you always speak the truth. I do believe you, I feel your truth in every inch of your body. I love you for being so honest. Thank you for having the strength to always speak your truth and to have no secrets. I know you spoke to many souls with your whole heart to help them see their beautiful light in themselves. Not everyone was ready for that little girl. And that is okay. You weren't ready either. Now you are. Thank you for being ready. I feel your light and the many sparks you share with the universe. They are amazing. I love you, baby girl. I know you tried to get so much help while speaking your truth and didn't get much help in return. I am here to help you, at every step of our path.

You are here, you are alive.

I love you. I support you. I feel you. I let you be yourself, my little Amber.

With all my love,

The women in you,

To the little baby girl in me.

13/03/2022